To do nothing

Last week we did a mini road trip all the way to Koli with two of my friends. It was nothing special in the sense that I feel like every other Finnish person on my Instagram feed has done the same trip this year as the Covid-19 pandemic is forcing us to plan our holidays within the Finnish borders. Nevertheless, I will be reminiscing that road trip for one reason: the calmness of it all.

After over three years of super hectic lifestyle and never-ending todo-lists until the beginning of this year, I have found myself in many occasions refinding to things that I have forgotten during those years. One of those things has been the ability to enjoy the calm and empty moments. I used to feel so uneasy if there wasn't something I was doing or someway I was contributing. A real realization of this was when I realized that even reading a book started to be a contribution to my goals of reading N amount of books in a year rather than an experience itself.

Last week during the road trip that in theory was in no way contributing to any of my goals or really in anything but polluting the world, I realized that it doesn't bother me that much anymore. Not doing anything is fine. It really is okay to just enjoy the moment and let your thoughts wander.

We drove 1400 kilometers, listened to almost every playlist I have on my Spotify, laughed, stayed quiet, reminisced the past, and dreamt about the future. And still when I got home, I felt way more refreshed than exhausted as usually would after a trip with friends.

It all helped me realize that I may have finally rekindled with the joy of doing absolutely nothing. No more feeling bad about it. No more feeling the need to explain why I'm not getting anything done at all times.

I know I'm worth my downtime no matter what anyone say.