Embracing the power of restorative niche

During the last couple of weeks I have 1) spent a wonderful weekend with my university friends, 2) spent time alone at our cottage in the middle of a forest next to a lake, 3) been interviewed for a job, 4) celebrated my birthday with my family, 5) visited my sister's housewarming party, 6) finished 2 books and 7) got to meet my brother's cat (not for the first time, but just met her and it makes me happy). So I think it is fair to say that a lot has happened.

Me and Anette on our excursion to Tampere and my sister's housewarming party.


Tampere is one of my favorite cities in Finland. I just love how welcoming it feels every time I visit.

After all this, when I finally got back home yesterday, I felt like it has been at least a month since I left. While I love having things happen and getting to catching up with so many friends it is also so nice to be back home with not too much going on. I can almost certainly already tell that being able to honestly and full-heartedly say this is the biggest learning of my year. That it is totally okay to feel the need to take a break from social contacts and constant high levels of stimulation.

In her book Quiet, Susan Cain amongst other things she describes introverts' need for alone time. It wasn't really a new thing as a concept but it made me look at it from a totally new perspective. What really stuck with me was a term called "restorative niche".

“Restorative niche' is Professor Little's term for the place you go when you want to return to your true self. It can be a physical place, like the path beside the Richelieu River, or a temporal one, like the quiet breaks you plan between sales calls.”

― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Reading about this made me for the first time realize how harmful my own relationship with this natural instinct for some low stimulation time has been. I wouldn't say that I have ignored it all together but I have definitely failed to acknowledge this as a real thing I'm feeling. I think it has always been something I kind of know but I've never been able to convince myself that it is enough of a reason to distance myself from social contacts for a moment. Now, looking back, I realize how this attitude has resulted in unnecessary negative feelings and uneasiness in situations that I would have very much enjoyed if not overly stimulated. Reading the book made me realize how stupid it really is. All this time, all I had to do was to listen to my own body, and I couldn't do it.

From now on, I will pay extra attention to when my stimulation meter is full and try my best to make sure to provide myself with some low stimulation time. I have also started to really make an effort to try to schedule my calendar in a way that I get my restorative niches whenever there is a chance I will need them.

So, if you catch me hanging alone there is no need to worry. It is simply me embracing the power of restorative niche.

“The trick for introverts is to honor their styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.”

― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking